Worksheet

Part 1: What Are Your Boundary Strengths & Weaknesses?

Part One of this process is designed to help you identify which areas of boundary work you already excel at and where you may need to add some intentional focus or seek additional support. Don't forget to save your responses to this self-awareness questionnaire so you can revisit the tool in the future and track your progress. Your answers will be password protected and accessible only by you.

1. ➜

Physical boundaries are what define your relationship with your body, your personal property, the physical space around you, and your privacy.

This area of boundary work involves knowing and honoring your personal preferences as they relate to your physical self and the physical world around you. The statements below are representative of someone with healthy physical boundaries. How many of these statements feel true for you? Select all that apply.

I know how I prefer to interact physically with various people and animals in my life (i.e. hugging vs. handshaking vs. arms-length).

I consistently honor my personal boundaries when engaging physically with others.

I'm aware of others' physical boundaries (including those of my horse) and do my best to honor them.

I know what makes me feel respected when others engage with my horse, or other personal property (i.e. asking permission vs. helping themselves or making assumptions).

I have no trouble articulating my expectations regarding others' behavior toward my horse or other personal property.

If someone crosses one of my physical boundaries I know how to clarify the boundary effectively, without becoming aggressive.

I know how to honor and protect my personal space, and that of my horse. I intentionally avoid putting myself or my horse in situations that feel unsafe to me/us.

I generally feel comfortable asking for the personal space that my horse and I need.

I never take offense when someone else clarifies their own personal space or physical contact preferences and boundaries.

2. ➜

Emotional boundaries are what define where one person's feelings end and another's begin.

This area of boundary work involves knowing how to protect your emotional integrity and helps you identify your feelings as your own rather than taking on the emotions of others. The statements below are representative of someone with healthy emotional boundaries. How many of these statements feel true for you? Select all that apply.

I can easily identify what feelings are mine to own.

I know the difference between empathy and sympathy, and I know how to NOT take on other peoples' emotions (including those of my horse).

I don't feel responsible for other people's happiness (or sadness), but I do recognize I'm responsible for protecting my horse's wellbeing.

Other people's moods do not dictate my emotional state.

I don't hold other people responsible for my feelings and emotions.

I'm comfortable sitting with uncomfortable feelings.

I know how to determine whether or not someone is safe enough for me to be emotionally vulnerable with.

I am a safe place for other people's (or my horse's) emotional vulnerability.

3. ➜

Intellectual boundaries involve respect for ideas and thoughts.

This area of boundary work helps you respect all ideas (your own and others'), even when you disagree. The statements below are representative of someone with healthy intellectual boundaries. How many of these statements feel true for you? Select all that apply.

I know how to engage in constructive debate.

I'm a good listener who does not interrupt when someone else is talking.

I can be patient and allow ideas to be expressed fully.

I can disagree with someone else's idea or opinion without feeling compelled to try and change it/them.

I enjoy sharing ideas with others who may have differing perspectives.

I always seek permission and/or give attribution when I share someone else's idea.

I confidently share my own ideas with others.

4. ➜

Time boundaries relate to how we use and value our time and that of others.

This area of boundary work helps you set aside time for the various aspects of your life, and to make time for what is most important to you. The statements below are representative of someone with healthy time boundaries. How many of these statements feel true for you? Select all that apply.

I'm good at separating work hours from personal time.

I have no guilt about scheduling "me time".

I'm intentional about not neglecting any of the areas of my life that are important to me (work, family, socializing, relaxing).

I know I can create all the time I need for the things that are important to me.

I can relax and enjoy the task at hand because I feel in control of my time.

I have no problem saying no to things I don't choose to make time for.

I never take it personally when someone says no to something they don't choose to make time for.

5. ➜

Social boundaries refer to guidelines we use for behavior in social situations.

This area of boundary work helps you honor differences among various cultures (and even various species). The statements below are representative of someone with healthy social boundaries. How many of these statements feel true for you? Select all that apply.

I honor my own social, cultural and spiritual beliefs and preferences.

When I meet someone new I am aware that their social customs, cultural experiences and spiritual beliefs may be different from mine.

I'm comfortable letting others know if/when my social boundaries have been crossed, without feeling embarrassed or guilty.

When someone (even my horse!) lets me know I have crossed one of their social boundaries, I'm grateful for the clarity.

When I visit others, am a customer, or attend an organized event, I honor the etiquette protocols of the host or hostess.

I can honor others' social choices and cultural beliefs without feeling like I'm dishonoring my own.

6. ➜

Professional boundaries relate to the rules and norms that govern behavior in a professional context.

This area of boundary work helps you maintain a peaceful workplace and effective professional relationships. The statements below are representative of someone with healthy professional boundaries. How many of these statements feel true for you? Select all that apply.

I wouldn't accept a job if I were not comfortable with the required dress code, organizational structure and professional practices.

I wouldn't hire (or stick with) a trainer or coach if his/her values and behavior didn't align with my own and/or meet my personal expectations.

I'm careful not to share inappropriate personal details with co-workers and professional peers, and expect the same from my trainers/instructors/coaches.

I understand why it's important to follow the communication and behavior protocols set by my workplace or boarding/training facility.

I take care not to be disruptive or disrespectful to my co-workers or fellow customers.

I do my best to respect and abide by the professional protocols at my workplace or boarding stable/livery.

I do my best to nurture a safe and productive workplace or barn/livery experience for myself and others (including the horses).

I know and follow the appropriate policies and procedures of my workplace or service provider when others are behaving unprofessionally.

I know that I always have the choice to find another job (or boarding stable) if I'm uncomfortable with the professional practices, values and expectations of my current place of business.

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